Well. You were right. Your instructors were right. The hospital is not for you. It is a thankless position riddled with impossible expectations you have no hope of achieving and for patients who either, 1) don’t appreciate the effort or 2) should just be allowed to die anyway. I wish I could tell you it is better after you get started. I wish I could say once you’re on your own it’s awesome. I wish I could make you believe that the few, heart-felt thank you’s you receive from patients make it worth it. Buuuuut it doesn’t.
You do gain something very valuable, however. When you put enough bodies in bags you start to gain genuine perspective on your life. You realize a fundamental truth of existence: death is truly the only thing in life that you can not control. In other words, if you are unhappy, change it. If you don’t like your job, find another one. It is a simple concept but not an easy task. But nothing worth having is easy. So take a risk. And any time you start to falter, to lose courage, remember this:
Consider the rich, successful or iconic people in history. Did their life consist of safe choices? Did they sit on the bench content with their situation? Or were they brave? Did they take a risk with the hopes of making their life meaningful? Of achieving something great?
Once you take hold of your decisions you will find yourself in a place that, dare I say it, is actually enjoyable. You will rediscover yourself. You will remember why you chose nursing. Freedom. FREEEEDOM! To live comfortably, work 9 months out of the year and be home by 4pm everyday.